2010.01.31

一年多了，总是有一段时间，特别地想念昆明。尤其是在冬天，看本地的天气预报，再对比看昆明的天气预报，就总是不爽九届。想念昆明的阳光和小吃。有时候想，就算是地沟油，我也要回去吃。

在这里找不到烤鸡脚，街边的小吃只是一年出现一次，仅是那一次，也仍有数年不变的fish and chips和汉堡。这里的冬天很漫长，对比这2度的气温遐想昆明的18度的天气，不停地在筹划什么时候能回去。

我在撺掇O君跟我一起到昆明，教英语，或者是做点别的什么。O君喜欢登山，我告诉他云南有海拔4000米以上的高山。O君是观鸟爱好者，我告诉他云南有很多特别的鸟类和野生动物。O君还自诩为人类学家，我告诉他云南是中国少数民族聚居的区域之一。但是不知出于什么心理，我总是拿中国的食物吓唬他，我说我喜欢吃鸡脚，鸡肝，鸡冠子，猪蹄，猪耳朵，猪尾巴，鸭掌，鸭舌，鸭脖子，有时也吃点青蛙，兔子肉什么的。每次听到他总是做出一副“不可思议”加上“恶心死了”的表情。他说他要到中国旅行的话，一定要带的东西肯定有刀叉和茶，他说他如果到中国旅行一趟肯定会瘦下来，因为又要爬山，又不肯吃一些古怪的食物，又没有奶酪可以吃。

最近有些不顺利，但是一直都是不顺利的边缘，所以也在慢慢习惯着。想法很多，但想得越多越觉得实现起来很难。也许就应该先不想那么多，走一步看一步。O君也是，十字关口一个接一个，但是看来看去仿佛是同一个。纠结来纠结去，描绘了很多很美好的愿景，但到到最后却还是选了同样的路。我应该告诉O君说，车到山前必有路，船到桥头自然直。

小年

这个时间落笔，国内的时间大概是小年了吧。周日就是除夕了。

今天不寻常地同父母聊了2个小时。老爸不停咳嗽，我几乎是吼着跟他说上医院看病吃药去。老妈在一旁向我抱怨道老爹的“不听话，让穿衣服不穿衣服，冻感冒也不亏。”接着说些家里的家长里短，又问我在这边如何如何，我问他们在家如何如何，仿佛每一点的细节都不愿放过。

爸问我，QQ你还用不用了？我说不怎么用了。他说，还是用吧，也方便我们联系你。我沉默，后来登陆，发现老爸送的空间的虚拟礼物，发电子贺卡。我想起了和菜头继续写博客的理由，写给父母让他们慢慢的看。于是决定，重新开始QQ空间，写给他们，让他们慢慢的看。

————————

数天前写的，现在才发

2012第一篇

2012年忽然就这么来了。

新年前夜的前夜，在伦敦的朋友处，三个人，红酒、香槟、G&T，小半瓶伏特加，醉醺醺地看Coldplay的演唱会。2011年最后一天，在火车站台上听到两名工作人员在各自往返的列车上互相打招呼告别“明年见”。傍晚在伦敦的中国城闲逛，人声鼎沸，仿佛过年一般。最终还是去了温伯顿附近的泰晤士河畔遥望大笨钟的焰火。

早已没有了那份希冀和期待去说2012年会怎样。看着镜子中自己脸上日益生长的皱纹，蓦然有种时光不在的感伤。收到朋友的一封邮件，一半宏大叙事一半小桥流水，猛然发现宏大叙事已经离我远去了。眼前的琐碎和挣扎占据了头脑中的大部分空间和想象，瞬间感觉无忧无虑的读书时光的宝贵。

O君的New Year Resolutions 变成了“保持体型拒绝变胖”，我的则是“更加整洁卫生”。无所谓宏大理想，只是好好生活。

 

 

递签之后

今天把签证申请的材料寄出去了。连着护照，签证，毕业证跟钱都在一个信封里。

寄完之后觉得很不平静，一会儿觉得可能有些地方没填对，一会可能觉得有些地方忘了填。瞬间血压升高，心跳加快。种种不顺利的结果一一呈现，想想自己都要吓得半死，一点儿都淡定不起来。

昨天爹说，你现在也不是北漂也不是南漂，你是国外漂。我说，我在这边好得很，不用担心。他问我，之后有什么打算？我说，哪里有钱挣就去哪了。他没再说什么，也始终没有提O君的事。

把照片发回去给他们看，老妈问：站你旁边那个老头子是谁？我气得半死，但是还要淡定地回答说那是O君。转述给O君，他很淡定，他比我年龄大的事实，怎样也改变不了。

可是他们都没有意识到，没有人会永远年轻，不变的只有人是一个怎样的人。当第一道皱纹出现在脸上的时候，除了接受，没有选择。但是可以选择的是同什么样的人在一起。

自恋一下

DSCF0065, a photo by Cambrian. on Flickr.

毕业典礼那天的照片
难得的好天气，难得的阳光
算是最近拍的比较好看的照片，很喜欢
O君拍的
还是很开心的

有关书和纸的一些想法

有压力时总是想花点钱，O君说这是comfort shopping，但是买的东西无一例外的是笔记本。

来英国之后已经买了很多不少笔记本和纸，还有从国内带来的中性笔和钢笔，手或者笔尖摩挲在纸上的感觉一直很好。Paperchase是最喜欢逛的店之一，里面的笔记本已经被我反复把玩了不下十次，前两周撞见Blackwell’s里的Moleskine降价，以前一直不舍得买，狠下心来终于买了一本，拆开塑封打开把玩，也只是个笔记本而已。前段时间迷上Book binding，在艺术商店买了些纸和手工工具，并且也捡便宜买了一摞打印纸准备做本。试验品的效果还好，但是材料不齐，并且做起来费时费力，做了两三个，也暂时放下了。

这些都是有关本和纸的，联想到网上看的有关电子书和纸质书的争论，不得不承认，搬家起来，纸质书会让人搬得以后有再也不买书的想法。而电子书——虽然我没有ipad或者kindle——方便携带和超大容量，以及电子墨水等，不得不承认电子书更多的优势。

倘若电子书和电子墨水更加普及，那笔记本以及书写会不会消亡？图书馆，档案馆展出的那些手稿，随着技术的发展，会不会变成白墙上的一个投影？

今天在Laing Art Gallary参观了一个印刷展，探讨印刷技术的各种可能性。四色的基本色的印刷，既能够显现出木刻的效果，堪比与Thomas Bewick 手工雕刻的印刷品，也能显现出更细腻的场景——第一名的印刷品是日本广岛原子弹爆炸后的烟雾。

我无法想象纸质书和纸质本消亡的场景，可能是已经开始落后于时代了。我觉得纸质书书承载内容和形式，内容可以在不同的载体上，但书的排版印刷装帧也是纸质书的一部分。但是也许书渐渐成为一种艺术品而非日常生活用品，像黑胶唱片一样，渐渐变成收藏和展示。

开始选圣诞大餐了

Starters
Mini game pie
new england squash soup
three cheese and caramelised onion cheecake
smoked salmon cushion

Main
Cannon of sirloin
mushroom and quince tart
baked salmon pithivier
trad. roast turkey
roast crown of goose

Dessert
choc sundae
black forest bombe
sticky toffee pear pudding
xmas pudding

The New York Times: Online and by Paper Airplane, Contributions Pour In to Chinese Dissident

By ANDREW JACOBS

BEIJING — In the days since the Chinese government delivered a punitive $2.4 million tax bill to the artist Ai Weiwei, thousands of people have responded by contributing money in a gesture that is at once benevolent and subversive.

More than 20,000 people have together contributed at least $840,000 since Tuesday, when tax officials gave Mr. Ai 15 days to come up with an amount that was more than three times the sum he was accused of evading in taxes.

“It’s surprising; it has really changed my perspective on people,” he said in a telephone interview on Sunday, describing how scores of supporters, some of whom traveled from distant cities, have been delivering cash to his home.

One of China’s best known artists and a voluble government critic, Mr. Ai was detained in April and held for 81 days at an undisclosed location, ostensibly on tax evasion charges, according to the state-run news media. Mr. Ai insists his prosecution is politically motivated.

During his confinement, he said his questioners were only interested in discussing his activism, particularly his role in the so-called Jasmine Revolution, the call for pro-democracy protests inspired by events in the Arab world. Mr. Ai said he was not involved in organizing the protests, which were effectively stymied by the Chinese authorities.

Since his release in June, Mr. Ai, 54, has kept a low profile, one of the conditions of his bail. But the imposed silence ill-suited the artist, who has increasingly bridled against the restrictions, among them a prohibition against talking to the news media or communicating publicly through Weibo, China’s Twitter-like microblogging service.

Since the amount of his fine became public on Tuesday, Mr. Ai appears to have shed any reluctance to speak out and has criticized the tax penalty as an act of naked retribution for his critiques against the governing Communist Party.

The donations began pouring in on Thursday, many of them delivered electronically and accompanied by politically tinged comments. “You helped them to design the Bird’s Nest, but they sent you into a bird cage,” said one donor, referring to Mr. Ai’s role in designing the Olympic stadium in Beijing. “You charged them fees, but now they fine you more than hundreds of times that in blood and sweat.”

Some contributions have been small — symbolic, fractional sums of the total — while others have totaled thousands of dollars. Mr. Ai said one businessman offered him 1 million renminbi, about $157,000, but he turned it down, saying he preferred to receive smaller sums. Mr. Ai has insisted on describing the money as loans that he will repay.

On Monday, one of China’s more stridently nationalistic state-owned newspapers, Global Times, published an editorial in its English-language edition that criticized the campaign, warning that it might constitute “illegal fundraising” and insisting that the expressions of public support should not be construed as absolution for his crimes.

“These people are an extremely small number when compared with China’s total population,” the editorial said of the donors. “Ai’s political preference along with his supporters’ cannot stand for the mainstream public, which is opposed to radical and confrontational political stances.”

On Sunday, after his Weibo account was disabled, dozens of people began arriving at the gate of Mr. Ai’s studio on the outskirts of the capital. He said a number of people had folded 100-renminbi notes into airplanes and tossed them over the walls of his compound.

“Over the past three years, during all the efforts I’ve made, sometimes I felt like I was crying alone in a dark tunnel,” he said. “But now people have a way to express their true feelings. This is a really, really beautiful event.”